You can't keep it in your head

Stephen Chinnock

6 July 2020

All the knowledge
of the world accumulated
built up upon each other
writing the story

I need constantly
to look back
to check references
specific to my trajectory
through time and space

I had a library specific
to my interests and needs
each book connecting
in unexpected ways
to general and pinpointed
moments in history

Creating a blanket
of security
for my mind
infinitely touchable
when needed
exquisite lines remembered
always just there
on my divine bookcases

You might say
go online
the facts are all there
but not the tactile experience
of rare editions
gifted by loved ones

So many holding
a massive emotional impact
treasures of the heart
lost forever

It will take me years
to face the fact
I’ll go on craving
particular books
that gave so much satisfaction

My counsellor says
go back with mindfulness
a bit at a time
I can’t get beyond the first shelf!