Yeah

Stephen Chinnock

30 May 2020

So I can write poetry
of positivity
in my new life
celebrating new connections

wonderful as they are
the hurt remains
won’t go away
the total loss of all

Continues to break my heart
So many memories
Of a long life
Left behind in the fire!

The pain sneaks in the door
unannounced
takes me by the throat
and won’t let go

Everyday there’s a reminder
of what there was
and is no more
disappeared into the ether

But it’s been months
you might say
let it go and get on
but it was decades you know
to let go

Sorry I said
that I’d move
to a new space
but I’ll bet I’m not the only one
stuck on this merry go round

One day up
one day down
searching for beauty
and resurrection

Finding it in new friends
trying to collect
objects of beauty
to sooth the loss
of the treasures of long ago

Maybe it’s just
the visits to that war torn space
the emptiness of that place
that once was home so beloved

Maybe it’s just
my penchant
for self falgellation
blaming myself for neglect
and what I might have saved

Oh well spilt milk
water under the bridge
tomorrow might see
a bright sun
vegetables growing
in a new garden
fruit trees in pots
for my next house

And I’ll try again
to value the beauty
of Mollymook beach
with the waves never ending
the rock platform
a world of its own

Count my blessings
as mother always said
reorganise my head, my heart
get on with living for those
Who don’t want me to depart
too soon at least!