So I cried yesterday

Stephen Chinnock

15 May 2020

So I cried yesterday
For the first time
Since the terrible conflagration
That took away the visible
Means of my life

And really you know I didn’t
Cry so hard or long
But the tears are on the edge
Again tonight

Why so long to let go
Is my heart leaden
Unable to respond
Am I still in a state of shock?

My dear new friend Melissa
Came to visit today
As she does
Always a joy to see

We spoke of many things
From current dilemmas
Art and local politics
Our favourite comedians
A taste shared

When we came to pictures
On the walls of my once home
My heart sunk
And I did what I swore
I’d never do

I looked for them again
Oh my god here come the tears again
Can barely see the keyboard!

I had a mantra to stick to
A question of survival
“I loved it all
While I had it
So now let go
Move on to another
Chapter in life“

But when you can’t avoid anymore
All those collections
Representing your life
And that of previous generations
Passed on to you with love?

I looked at them today
Saw how amazing and unique
They were as a canvass
Of a long life of gathering icons
That I would have so loved
To leave to the new generations
Of my broad family

So I’m crying again now
my heart is breaking
Just hoping that the tears
Will wash away the hurt
Shared by so many of us

Ah well let’s see what my psychologist
Makes of that little break!

I promise you all
I’ll go to the beach
In my beautiful Mollymook
Tomorrow again
And come up with verses
Of waves and the swell
Of the eternal ocean
Even pick up a few more shells
I love them to bits!

See tears all gone
So go on you all
Write it down!