Dear friends

Stephen Chinnock

22 January 2021

A final note
Before moving on
I had another massive episode
Of PTSD discussed with my psychologist
Classic symptoms he says
Of self-blaming
For not being able to leave it behind

Falling out with those close by
Not understanding that these words
I spoke in rage
Are not the real me
But a heady concoction of guilt and fear
Brain chemistry and grief

Anthony’s wonderful documentary
I’ve seen three times
I applaud him for his success
But i cannot see it again
Let alone in a cinema

I cling to advice
Don’t ruminate on the past
Don’t fantasise about the future

Move now into the present
With strategies to keep you there
The other dimensions are illusions

Thank you so much for your company
On a terribly difficult journey!