5 March 2020
Immersed so deeply in worlds of death and life
The complex connections of a community who knows each other, but does not
No time for tears in the midst of a crisis
Finally fighting the weight of grief with a late night message from a fellow traveller on a different, but strangely familiar journey
So it's said love, is what sits at the bottom of the dark night precipice
Love for life, love of joy, love for all that brings me back to who I imagine myself to be
Lost now for a time, but hopefully not forever
Who is this strange creature shaped by an uninvited horror?
This person who does not recognize themselves because of the cruel and indiscriminate hand of trauma
Who is this creature so longing to live, but fighting a death inside everyday?
Who is this strange creature who has been brought undone by that love of life?
And plunged into a void of alone in the world, to wait this out until relief comes, if indeed it does
Hope for an end and a new beginning sits uncomfortably alongside its new friend... give me my past!
Give me my past! with all its innocence and shortcomings, with all its simplicity and routine, with all its stillness and turmoil
No don’t take me back, because I’m more whole now, as I sit in my vulnerability and nakedness than I ever was
Strange and perplexing times in the little village