Kris Brennan
The anger inside me

7 February 2021

The anger inside me
Sits within my core,
Witness to wrongdoings
Will open up its door.

When it first came to visit
On that unforgettable day,
It crept into me slowly
And has never gone away.

I’ve seen so many
wrongdoings,
I’ve heard so many lies,
The authorities at all
levels,
The truth they deny.

Money can divide us
A man-made commodity
But look at the cost,
Is it the unfairness of
how its shared or
the lies to get the most?

The government allegations
of funding to be spent
on those fire affected,
But the money has ended up in the
pockets of those blue, blue electorates.

We are living in the result
of the attributes of our leaders,
Ignorance and arrogance
Are what they have shown us.

But shouldn't good beat evil?
That's how the story goes.
When will the people fightback
And the government overthrown?

My anger has injured me,
And ended friendships too,
My voice, loud and strong
in calling out the wrong,
No longer lost, no longer
content, to sit in the quiet
with all the rest.

The story is never ending
and so my anger will thrive,
Until I learn not to feed it
But how do you turn a blind eye?

The support and the care
Is available all there
in the myriad of agencies
The letterheads on my table
a maze to get through
Ive lost count of them all.

Why, you ask, are you angry?
Why, you ask, do you
carry on?
Because I have seen much
greed, young man,
Much more than I can bear.
Have you looked into the eyes
of those who have lost
and witnessed their despair?

And while I feel powerless
to correct what I think is wrong,
My anger will always come forth
like a force from beyond.
To question your ego,
To question your goal,
I cannot shut down
these emotions of mistrust,
While they continually sit silently
within the pits of my gut...

The anger inside me

7 February 2021

The anger inside me
Sits within my core,
Witness to wrongdoings
Will open up its door.

When it first came to visit
On that unforgettable day,
It crept into me slowly
And has never gone away.

I’ve seen so many
wrongdoings,
I’ve heard so many lies,
The authorities at all
levels,
The truth they deny.

Money can divide us
A man-made commodity
But look at the cost,
Is it the unfairness of
how its shared or
the lies to get the most?

The government allegations
of funding to be spent
on those fire affected,
But the money has ended up in the
pockets of those blue, blue electorates.

We are living in the result
of the attributes of our leaders,
Ignorance and arrogance
Are what they have shown us.

But shouldn't good beat evil?
That's how the story goes.
When will the people fightback
And the government overthrown?

My anger has injured me,
And ended friendships too,
My voice, loud and strong
in calling out the wrong,
No longer lost, no longer
content, to sit in the quiet
with all the rest.

The story is never ending
and so my anger will thrive,
Until I learn not to feed it
But how do you turn a blind eye?

The support and the care
Is available all there
in the myriad of agencies
The letterheads on my table
a maze to get through
Ive lost count of them all.

Why, you ask, are you angry?
Why, you ask, do you
carry on?
Because I have seen much
greed, young man,
Much more than I can bear.
Have you looked into the eyes
of those who have lost
and witnessed their despair?

And while I feel powerless
to correct what I think is wrong,
My anger will always come forth
like a force from beyond.
To question your ego,
To question your goal,
I cannot shut down
these emotions of mistrust,
While they continually sit silently
within the pits of my gut...

It seems

24 January 2021

It seems the grief is ongoing.
It seems it won’t disappear.
It seems our longing for our “before” will never go away...

It seems sharing our poems
Is that which connects us
It seems it reveals our ongoing pain
The open wounds for all to feel
again and again...

Night Time Walks

2 November 2020

The empty blocks of land
in darkness they sit
Was never seen before.
The homes and houses of families,
the laughter and the chat
Is what was here before.
The mangled letterboxes
In crumbling broken driveways
Were never here before.
How does the postman
Manage that?
He needn't had to worry before.
The views right down
to the lake,
We never had that before.
The houses we wait
for their return,
Won't be like that of before.
The noise from distant traffic
No longer buffered by trees,
Was never heard before.
The silence in the empty neighborhood
Sounds like nothing here before.
The sorrow inside of me
I have never carried
Like this before.
It still comes and goes,
No rhyme or reason
It never hurt like this before.
Who would have thought
that time
Could be so solidly split
By a word like "before".
Its meaning so defining
Living with us forever after
Continually playing
In our minds
The yearning to get back
To our "before".

The Colour of Black

22 April 2020

Oh look at the trees
It’s all coming back
Yes, I agree but is it just me
That I can still see
The colour of black?

Out in the garden
I dig and weed
And yes the garden
Is recovering
But why is it that
I can only see
The colour of black?

And when at night
I vigorously scrub
To remove the dirt
On my feet and my hands
And under my nails
The only colour I grasp is
The colour of black?

And now the Autumn
Season is here
Days are fresh
Skies are blue and clear
Why is it, that the odour I sense
Is the colour of black?

And when in town
And people say
Oh you’re OK
Your home is safe
Yes, I reply
But my heart is
A jumble, a whirlpool,
A turmoil of
The colour of black.

And when the alien-
Like machinery
Is digging and scraping
The trash
And the ash
Of the homes that were once lived in
Of the memories and items
They held so dear
I can feel the turbulence
The upheaval
And it feels like
The colour of black.

It will become brighter,
This feeling of loss,
These feelings of fear
Will slowly disappear
This world wind of emotions and
The colours of black.

Why did it happen?

19 February 2020

Why did it come?
It doesn’t matter now
It is done, it is done.

“I'm on my way home
I want you to know,
It doesn’t look good
I think Fisho’s will go”.

The helicopters above
They are hovering nearby,
This is going too fast,
I'll keep up the bucketing,
Good Lord! Look at the sky!

And then within minutes it hits the ridge,
It is coming, it is running
It is downhill … across the wind!!

I'll stay, you go
Don’t forget to stay near,
Get in the car,
Just get the f%#k out of here!

I banged on her door
We have to go! Quick! Quick!
The fire is coming
It will be here any tick.

I am not leaving,
I will be OK.
I told the others before you,
I have made the decision,
I intend to stay.

You don’t understand,
It isn’t a fire, it's angry, it's violent,
It will take you along with us all
I beg you please listen
Please get out the door!

With your hand on my shoulder
And tears in my eyes, you pushed me on my way.
I insist that you go but you said, Frank will be the one,
The one to care for me on this day.

What the f#%k this crazy shit
I'm running, the noises, I can hear.
The hurry, the scurry
The peril behind me.
Don’t stand and scratch your head!
Steffo and Patti!
Get the f#%k out of here!

Roads blocked by fire
We are limited to where we can go.
Cars driven by people
The fear in their faces
The tears freely flow.

Is this our last day?
Is this how it ends?
Where are the services?
The services that are meant to help us…
To help us defend?

And somehow I’m here
In the boat with the others.
The hours past,
The fire all around us.
The heat, the wind, the smoke and all
We hear the sounds,
The sounds of the community fall.

And so I watched my feet step onto the soil
What would be ahead of me
My eyes and mind wish to recoil.

The land is still smouldering,
It is silent now, apart from
Water flowing, where was it before, where did it go?
Black and twisted visions, silhouettes continuing with the ongoing bucketing.
This is surreal…

Oh my God, oh no. Did she get out of that?
Her house is flat!
Did anyone see her,
Her and her cat?

The last day of the year,
Of the decade as well.
The Mother is angry
And I’m sure this is Hell.

That night we join, we share, we hug
And we care.
We exchange tears and rubs
And stories galore
But there will be more
Believe me there is more….

For days our lives are like living in sepia
When will the colour return
To make life easier?

Cause our community has fled
Vowing to return
The homes they will rebuild
But have we all learnt?

We are all trying to help you,
To help you get through,
Through your hurt and the dirt
and the mess of it all.

Some won't return for reasons
Or other,
We won't forget you
Our hearts and minds learn to be tougher
Without you here
The people, we love so dear.

Why did it happen?
Why did it come?
I repeatedly implore.

The day that turned to night,
When It roared and It roared.